Need boys help to make friends? Find out how to connect with other guys and have fun
- gingferbadeticno
- Aug 15, 2023
- 6 min read
Data supports the claim that boys are falling behind, and dramatically so. For example, there is a growing gender gap in high school graduation rates. According to the Brooking Institution, in 2018, about 88% of girls graduated on time, compared with 82% of boys.
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A 2016 report from the American Sociological Association concluded that the way teachers respond to boys' behaviors plays a significant role in shaping their educational outcomes years later. The study found that elementary school boys had much greater exposure to negative school environments compared with girls. And in high school, boys reported significantly higher rates of grade repetition and lower educational expectations.
We know that boys benefit from introducing lessons through dramatic points of entry that grab their attention. We know that boys are kinesthetic learners who benefit from hands-on activities where they learn by touch, exploration and manipulation.
Growing up in poverty, children face tough challenges: hunger and malnutrition, limited access to education and medical services, social discrimination and isolation. But with charity from people like you, we can help children get the health care, education, life skills, job-readiness training and confidence they need to create lasting change in their lives and communities. Together, we can end poverty for good.
"What we find is that throughout the world boys are lagging in overall achievement," says psychologist David Geary at University of Missouri-Columbia, who coauthored the study. He adds that while there are several efforts to promote education for girls in the fields of science, technology, engineering and math, boys have largely been overlooked.
For the most part, boys do worse than girls, and the gap widens among the lowest performing students. Boys are on par with girls only in the top 20 percent of students in wealthy and developed countries. Boys tend to do better than girls in only three countries and regions: Colombia, Costa Rica and the Indian state of Himachal Pradesh. But Geary says that's too small a sample to come up with definitive conclusions about why these boys are A students.
Why do boys fall behind? There could be many reasons, Geary says, like the structure of a school day. "It's tough for all kids to sit down and pay attention for six, seven hours but it's generally harder for boys," he says. "Boys are a little bit more active behaviorally and so sitting still requires a little more effort." Integrating recess or physical education into the school day might help them pay better attention in class. That's something that isn't emphasized in many schools in low-income countries.
And boys don't always stick with school. "In middle-income countries like Brazil, a lot of boys drop out at middle school level to go into the work force," says Changu Mannathoko, senior education adviser at UNICEF. "With boys, they get much more prestige when they are out working [or] part of a gang than being a student." Whereas girls see learning as an opportunity to get jobs and leave an oppressive environment, she adds, so they often take school more seriously.
A more enterprising solution is bringing school to the boys. In Lesotho, boys (and also girls) often can't get to school because they're up in the mountains herding livestock or working in mines. "The interventions weren't just focused on formal education but also on mobile schools." The idea is to bring the classroom to the children where they are working. Mannathoko acknowledges that Lesotho still grapples with providing education for kids, but she says the campaign is a good first step.
For teachers, helping children manage their ADHD symptoms can present a challenge. Most children with ADHD are not enrolled in special education classes, but do need extra assistance on a daily basis. The National Resource Center on ADHD provides information for teachers from experts on how to help students with ADHD.
Children who need continuous use of a breathing machine or are confined to a wheelchair or bed, may have stronger reactions to a threatened or actual disaster. They might have more intense distress, worry or anger than children without special needs because they have less control over day-to-day well-being than other people. The same is true for children with other physical, emotional, or intellectual limitations. Children with special needs may need extra words of reassurance, more explanations about the event, and more comfort and other positive physical contact such as hugs from loved ones.
The notion that boys as well as girls are suffering from low self-esteem runs counter to the conventional wisdom. It all started with a 1995 study by the American Association of University Women (AAUW) that reported that educational bias results in girls having lower self-images than boys. That started a wave of books and articles about how girls lose their voice in adolescence.
While Niobe Way was working toward her PhD in counseling at Harvard University in the late 1980s, she was struck by the fact that boys frequently told her during therapy sessions that they wished they had better friendships.
Create spaces for boys to connect with boys: While boys can be reluctant to talk to therapists without nudging, one way to grow their emotional muscles is through affinity support groups at school, which research shows can be an effective tool for mitigating the impacts of distress and trauma. There, boys can start discussing common interests and superficial issues, then progress to talking about the pressures of growing up as a boy.
Yet even with opportunities to connect, sometimes it can be hard for boys to be emotionally vulnerable, especially with other boys, said Andrew Reiner, author of Better Boys, Better Men: The New Masculinity That Creates Greater Courage and Emotional Resiliency.
As part of their efforts, psychologists and social workers visit an academic class once a year, introduce themselves, and talk about topics like character and asking for help. While they offer small groups and individualized help for students with bigger needs, all students in his school get this universal support. Teachers and parents are also trained to look for warning signs that a student is struggling mentally, including contemplating suicide.
Children need love and nurturing to thrive, and they need food, clothing, shelter, healthcare and education to grow up and become contributing adults. Hunger, abuse and neglect all have a negative effect on children and can impede their chances of personal success.
Stick to a schedule. Autistic children tend to do best when they have a highly-structured schedule or routine. Again, this goes back to the consistency they both need and crave. Set up a schedule for your child, with regular times for meals, therapy, school, and bedtime. Try to keep disruptions to this routine to a minimum. If there is an unavoidable schedule change, prepare your child for it in advance.
Create a home safety zone. Carve out a private space in your home where your child can relax, feel secure, and be safe. This will involve organizing and setting boundaries in ways your child can understand. Visual cues can be helpful (colored tape marking areas that are off limits, labeling items in the house with pictures). You may also need to safety proof the house, particularly if your child is prone to tantrums or other self-injurious behaviors.
Make time for fun. A child coping with ASD is still a child. For both autistic children and their parents, there needs to be more to life than therapy. Schedule playtime when your child is most alert and awake. Figure out ways to have fun together by thinking about the things that make your child smile, laugh, and come out of her/his shell. Your child is likely to enjoy these activities most if they don't seem therapeutic or educational. There are tremendous benefits that result from your enjoyment of your child's company and from your child's enjoyment of spending unpressured time with you. Play is an essential part of learning for all children and shouldn't feel like work.
Your child's treatment should be tailored according to their individual needs. You know your child best, so it's up to you to make sure those needs are being met. You can do that by asking yourself the following questions:
Caring for a child with autism can demand a lot of energy and time. There may be days when you feel overwhelmed, stressed, or discouraged. Parenting isn't ever easy, and raising a child with special needs is even more challenging. In order to be the best parent you can be, it's essential that you take care of yourself.
Children under the age of 10 do not need an autism diagnosis to receive free services under IDEA. If they are experiencing a developmental delay (including delays in communication or social development), they are automatically eligible for early intervention and special education services.
Infants and toddlers through the age of two receive assistance through the Early Intervention program. In order to qualify, your child must first undergo a free evaluation. If the assessment reveals a developmental problem, you will work with early intervention treatment providers to develop an Individualized Family Service Plan (IFSP). An IFSP describes your child's needs and the specific services he or she will receive.
If you'd like to pursue special education services, your local school system will first need to evaluate your child. Based on this assessment, an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) will be drafted. An IEP outlines the educational goals for your child for the school year. Additionally, it describes the special services or supports the school will provide your child in order to meet those goals.
Girls are less likely to be diagnosed and treated for ADHD than boys. Some people even mistakenly believe that the condition only occurs in boys. In actuality, the symptoms of ADHD can look different in girls in ways that make the disorder harder to notice. 2ff7e9595c
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